Archive | April, 2013

Anywhere but here

24 Apr

This post is for you parents out there.  As you know I have three children.  This past week they all got sick.  All three.

The baby caught the stomach flu first.  Since she hasn’t had that bug yet it hit her hard.  And when she’s miserable–we’re all miserable. She screams.  Then she screamed until she’d vomit.  And put that on repeat for a few days.  I’m not even sure we slept one of those nights–it certainly didn’t feel like it.

Then my middle child was cranky.  My peanut has Down Syndrome.  So even though she’s five, she can’t tell us some things.  We thought she was grumpy because she woke up at 5 am when the baby was screaming (again).  Yeah, then she started.  She’s our easiest patient though.  She sleeps a lot and while she loves snuggles when she’s sick she would wait her turn (her little sister is more vocal about sitting in my lap).

By the time the other two were getting healthy the oldest caught it.  My oldest is a Type 1 Diabetic.  To anyone out there that lives with that ailment–my sympathies.  Sick days aren’t just curl up on the couch with a bucket and hope for the best.  We monitor his blood sugars.  His body trends to go low with stomach bugs which makes it even more challenging as we need to keep it above 80.  The way to do that is carbs and when you want to throw up–no one wants to eat.  We lucked out and he didn’t have ketones this go-round or we would have had to try to figure out how to get insulin (and more carbs to go with that insulin) in him.

When my children are sick I want to cuddle them.  But I also want breathing room and a break myself.  Luckily I’m not working so we didn’t need to worry about sick time or receiving a demerit for missing work.

But I didn’t get to work out these days.  Unless you count the disinfecting and laundry, which I don’t.  And it’s completely selfish of me, but I really missed the gym and my block of “me” time, breaking a sweat, and catching up on “True Blood” on HBO On Demand.  Instead it was non-stop kids shows. As much as I love them, I also love myself.

I went outside today to park my van in the garage while the oldest was with the younger ones.  My husband was picking up my son’s baseball gear.  I had the strongest urge to just drive away for a few minutes.  My van smelled of my new Caribbean air freshener and ironically Jimmy Buffet was on the radio.  A beach and the sun sounded so nice.  I desperately wanted to just leave.  Go anywhere but inside my house.

Instead I parked and came back in the house to change diapers, fill water cups, and rotate the dishes.  It would be nice to take a break.

And I’ll get one.  Just not now as I’m needed right here.

Rejection is another word for opportunity

18 Apr

I received two more rejections from jobs I applied for yesterday.  I can’t tell you how many I’ve received.  Even more are the many applications that are in limbo out there.  It stinks.  I can’t say that they get easier to receive.  It feels like I’m in high school again.  Like I put a note in that really cute guy’s locker asking if he wants to go to a movie sometime.

You don’t know what he thinks of you.  He can see what you’ve done.  But that really cute guy doesn’t know yet that you like chocolate ice cream, puppies, walks in the woods, that you love to turn the pages of a book and immerse yourself into another world for a minute.  That you’re really great at multitasking, but have a lot of unfinished projects.  That you like to sit in the sun and feel the warmth of the rays, but not for long as you also burn within minutes.

Perhaps he’ll consider that note and ask you some of those questions.  Most likely he’ll ignore it.  He’ll probably think it won’t work and say no (hopefully in a polite manner).

But maybe he’ll be the one that is interested.

Maybe he’ll be the one that likes animals too.  Maybe he’ll want to see that movie with you.  And another.  Maybe dinner, some long walks in the woods.  Maybe he’ll ask you to marry him and you’ll have this beautiful family with him.  And maybe when you receive another job rejection he’ll be there saying “it’ll come for you.”

If you don’t try you’ll never know.

So I’m sure I’ll receive a few more job rejections.  And probably a few more employers won’t look past my experience.

But I’m going to keep applying.  As much as it stinks to hear the “no,” I know that there is a yes out there somewhere.  After all, I married that guy from high school.  We’ve been married almost 11 years now.  We have three kids, two cats, a house, many shared dreams and when I told him that I got yet another job rejection from a job I wanted he said “it’ll come.”

The right thing is out there somewhere.  We just haven’t found each other yet.

Something new

15 Apr

I celebrated another birthday recently.  It’s always a bit invigorating for me.  I usually am lucky enough to get a bit of cash as a gift and usually spend it on new clothes.  But that’s just not so fun for me lately.  I have a closet full of cute things that I would just like to fit into and feel more comfortable in.  But shoes, on the other hand, shoes always work.  I found myself some fun little Sketchers.  Ladies, if you haven’t tried on the Go Walk Sketchers try them.  They are so unbelievably comfortable.  I didn’t need to break them in at all.  Best of all–machine washable!  Workouts are not usually kind on shoes;)

In addition to the new shoes I have found new workout plans that I love now that my back is healed.  My first–the elliptical.  When I first went to the gym I could barely handle five minutes on that dreadful machine.  I’d pass it to go to the treadmill.  I was jogging/walking on the treadmill but I could get a workout in.  But…it was beckoning me.  I tried again and again each time I went there.  I can proudly say I’m at a 30 minute workout now.  No, it’s not a huge workout, but that’s a big change for me.

I also broke my favorite workout DVD the other day.  Remember Tae-Bo?  Probably not if you’re younger than I am.  However, I was a huge fan of Billy Blanks and his workout collection.  I even had one of them on VHS.  Considering I haven’t had a working VHS player in years I know that got ditched awhile back. But when my Ultimate Abs DVD went I was a little sad.  When you find a workout DVD you can do more than once you stick with it.  And when I tried a few stores for a replacement I realized that it’s not quite popular anymore.

So I tried something new.  And loved it.  Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred.  I’ve watched The Biggest Loser–used to all the time.  Jillian scares me.  She seems brutal and I think she’d make me cry more than once.  But…I love the circuit training aspect of the workout.  I am not faithful with strength.  I have a lot of weight to lose and would rather do the cardio to burn calories.  But…this combines it all and makes the strength fun.  I wanted to die the first time I did it.  But here I am a week later and this morning when I popped on my new shoes and hit play I managed the full workout AND was ready for more.

New can be scary.  But sometimes it’s great and you just might conquer something you didn’t think you could.