26 Jul

The decision to have another child when you have one with special needs is hard.  My daughter has Trisomy 21, a beautiful fluke at conception that resulted in Down Syndrome.  It was a gift.  I wouldn’t change it.  But the financial and emotional toll of special needs parenthood is tough.

When we had our oldest daughter we weren’t sure we wanted a third child.  In some ways, number three would help her brother when we (God forbid) were gone one day. But we were awfully busy with these two.  Juggling therapies and frequent doctor appointments with her and then adding diabetic  care to the oldest- it just seemed unreal to add a third.  We were pretty spent already.  Jobs are tough when you need to care for frequent illnesses and appointments.  Medical insurance is vital.  Flexibility is a must.  And you need to be easily in reach. It was easier to stick with two.

But, as it does often, life had other plans.  In came our spirited third child.  While, ironically she’s our most challenging, she is also one of the best things to happen to her siblings.

I never had a sister and always wanted one.  I dreamed of tea parties, braiding each other’s hair, having someone to play with and giggle with.  I had two older brothers instead.  They were great, but practically a generation older than me.  My girls are four years apart. They weren’t very close before, but as my youngest ages they get closer.  They teach each other patience (because they both want whatever the other has!) and love.

While it is still emerging I see the sisterhood in them.  They will hug one minute and have a tea party with all our plastic food and their stuffed animals.  Five minutes later I will see them slapping each other for the item the other one stole. And then, like a whirlwind they’re giggling again.  My youngest never questions why her sister doesn’t talk, but talks for her (a loud squawk of disagreement with and has occurred).  Often.  But right now with their age difference and the cognitive delay they’re pretty equal and it’s fun to way he.

I love their independence but also see the relationship growing between them.  I want to envision them as adults still this close and giggling at the pool.  

As always, I’m glad that life changes our plans at times.  And maybe as these two become not just sisters but best friends their older brother may get a bit more peace.  And us too.  Mom and Dad like peace.


2 Responses to “Sisters ”

  1. Sarah's Attic of Treasures July 27, 2016 at 8:43 pm #

    Peace is always good. I enjoyed your post. Thank you for sharing your kids with me. Have a wonderful rest of the week. Hugs.

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