Adulting is Hard

27 Sep

This morning it was raining.  And cold.  And our jackets are in a box somewhere amongst our packed things.  Our umbrella broke last spring and I refused to let my little one spend $30.00 on a Princess Sofia one.  

And my van is in the shop with a broken transmission right before our moving day.

I could let my middle daughter skip school to avoid a damp walk.  But I’m letting her miss two days while we transition to our new home.

So we walked.  My still-healing foot bone ached in the damp air, and my brain just didn’t have the patience for the slow stroll to school.  My daughter with Down Syndrome doesn’t move fast.  Unless she is sneaking something she didn’t ask for (tablet, food, or Mom’s jewelry).  My brain didn’t want to go slow.  It was busy adulting and annoyed at the saunter.

I still need to pack the medicine cabinet.  What can we live without for day?  Do I have enough boxes to finish packing?  I think I have enough cleaning supplies.  Did I wipe down my closet?  Or just Dad’s?  I hope my oldest doesn’t get sick today.  Who would I call to pick him up?  I could call a cab, but I don’t think I have cash left.  I hope he remembers to bring home his diabetic supplies.  He grabbed extra bags today.  I wish I didn’t have to cancel my appointment today.  But maybe it’s better this way.  Most of my prescriptions are refilled, when do I pick them up?  How long do I have before I need to refill the others?  Can I make it with what I have for a few weeks?

My brain flutters with my adult thoughts and I try to just get to school so I can get home and pack and clean some more.  Then my youngest stops.  “Mom! Look! Purple flowers!” as she stops to view purple somethings along the sidewalk (I do not have anything close to a green thumb.  My plants are fake in my house so my cat doesn’t dig them up or eat them.)  My other girl stops to touch them as well too and signs flower.  

And I turn off my adulting.  And stop to admire the spots of purple along our walk.  Giggle as my girls race each other down the path.  Feel the cool fall air and admire the changing colors of the trees.

I just stop.  To be.  I need to do that more.  It makes the adulting a bit easier.

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