What Words Mean

9 Nov

Given that it’s Election Day and people are listening to many words this post seems fitting.  (And no, this is not a rant about politics.)

Remember when we were children singing nursery rhymes and songs (because there wasn’t television or electronic devices or gobs of toys around?) We played.  We sang.  And I remember being bullied as a child singing “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  Well, words do hurt.  I was hurt by them then, I still get hurt by them now.  I’m incredibly sorry if I hurt anyone out there by words.

The thing is-it really is your own insecurities that make you lash out.  In a defense manner.  I remember being furious at my parents as a child.  I didn’t have the nerve to scream at them, but I was angry.  Everyone experiences anger.  Everyone.

My youngest-wears her emotions on her sleeve.  When she’s angry at me-she’s cruel.

“You’re bad.”

“You’re a mean mom.”

“You’re not my mom”

“I don’t like you.”

“I want daddy, not you.”

Perhaps these are just words that a five year old girl throws in anger.  They come along with a full body tantrum.  She might hit me.  She usually doesn’t, but she screams these words at me with the blink of an eye.  While I’m glad she feels enough strength to express her anger rather than bottle it, I wish it wasn’t every day.  And directed at me.  Every day.

See, the thing is even if you KNOW that it’s not really you, words still hurt.  Hearing someone you love say they hate you, it hurts.  Calling someone names (even if it’s meant to be a joke) hurts.  

I’m not a perfect parent, friend, wife, daughter, sister.  I’m human.  I make mistakes.  But I try hard to instill kindness into my children and most of the time I’m lucky enough to see this in them.  I see the good in others more than the bad.  I became friends with some of those same people that have called me names.  I’m afraid every day that what I’m doing as a parent isn’t enough.  That’s one of my insecurities.

But words mean things.  Say “I love you.” Or say “How are you?” and listen.  Words are powerful.  Words can wrap you in a hug, or they can slap you in the face.

But we need to strengthen each other.  Love strengthens.  So I will continue to model love in my house even though it’s difficult at times.  And I will continue to love.  

Today will be about voting with my daughter and playing catch with a balloon and praising my girls for sharing.  We get to choose what we love.  We were given that gift.  So choose love words, not hate words.

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2 Responses to “What Words Mean”

  1. brokenbarn November 16, 2016 at 3:33 pm #

    Wow, this hits home as I struggle with a teenage daughter. Words do hurt, but you are right, they can wrap you in a hug. Guess I need to try to wrap her up.

    • mylifewiththree November 16, 2016 at 3:36 pm #

      It’s hard. And I’ll send you an extra hug for when you need it

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